Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Best Man Speech 001
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – For those of you that don’t know I’m John, Paul’s younger, non-committal brother. There’s our mum & dad (Don’t they just look so…..hmm…… grateful!)
It is said that being asked to be the best man is like being asked to make love to the Queen Mother. It’s a great honour but nobody wants to do it.
Particularly now she has sadly passed away…..
Before I start, let me just say that the formative years I spent in the company of the groom means that he had as much of a part in developing my sense of humour as anyone. So, although I have tried to make this speech as funny as possible, please blame Paul, by email, if it's not.
When I told Jenny I was best man, her reaction was “You cant you’ll ruin his day”- Bit harsh with the name calling, but generally quite astute…..
Ladies and gentlemen, I am the best man so in time-honoured tradition, I will now do my best to give Paul the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life. For the record, the most uncomfortable five minutes of Sarah's life will be coming later on this evening, courtesy of Paul.
4 years ago Sarah met the man of her dreams, and shortly afterwards Paul: It was no surprise, when a few months ago during a romantic dinner just down the road at the Italian restaurant, Paul bent down to pick up a nice piece of garlic bread he surprisingly dropped…Sarah jumped to conclusions and…well here we all are today!
I'd like to really start by saying what a genuine honour it is to be Paul's best man today. I appreciate that I am just one of many equally suitable close employees & workmates that he could well have chosen, but I know he looks upon me as the older brother he never had. When it came to writing this speech I wasn’t short of material. Although most of it I’ve had to edit, throw away, burn or hand over to the police to help them with their enquiries. This is what’s left over….
So here I am stood up here with this great opportunity to reveal to all, Paul’s past misdemeanours. FORNICATION….Sorry FOR AN OCCASION such as this I could trot out the usual stories; like when he woke up in a Bangkok jail wearing Jimmy’s red thong and swimming goggles. Instead, I’ve decided to use this time to talk of Paul’s achievements, so you needn’t worry, we’re almost at the end of the speech. Without doubt his greatest achievement is marrying Sarah, who looks absolutely stunning today. Paul has scrubbed up quite nicely too – it’s amazing what a flannel and a bar of soap can do. I do however think it’s a bit thoughtless of him to have copied my outfit! You’ve done extremely well Paul, you’ve found someone who’s beautiful, charming, intelligent, down-to-earth… and puts up with your late nights in cyberspace. And Sarah, well- you’ve found Paul. Who said marriages had to start out balanced! Paul’s second greatest achievement also happened today, and that was keeping his appointment, on time, in the right country and resisting what must have been an intense desire to wed online.
But despite the fresh air, daylight and comfort he’s suffered, it’s been well worth the effort to surgically remove his laptop. As it was quite challenging coming up with a third achievement I thought of getting some visual help by asking our Dad, Tom, if he had any cute pictures of Paul when he young. I got a puzzled look and the confused reply; ‘Pictures yes, cute no!’ Dad did remind me that as a child, Paul is fondly remembered for always asking question after question. And this morning, a little of that child returned to him, as when I passed the bathroom door I overheard him saying, 'Why me, Lord? Why me? Whyyyy???' I do believe that marriage is a wonderful thing for Paul. It will teach him loyalty, self-restraint and control, and develop in him a sense of responsibility, fair play and so many other qualities he wouldn't need if he had just stayed single.
I knew Paul when he was little (obviously) and I lost count of the number of times a grown-up remarked, ‘He’ll go far, that Paul.’ Secretly jealous, I used to punch him repeatedly in the head. Adolescent rivalry aside, I can see that the adults were right and Paul has indeed done very well for himself. There’s the great career, his success at International level on the sports field, his world-beating collection of internet porn, and now of course, his perfect wife.
I must point out again the bridesmaids look wonderful and performed their role fantastically well, despite the inevitable and healthy rivalry that can sometimes occur. Just before the service I overheard a furious argument about who was going to be first to dance with the best man. “Understandable!”, I thought - until I got closer and heard them saying, 'You!', 'No…. YOU!'.
On behalf of those bridesmaids and myself, I would like to thank Sarah and Paul for giving us the opportunity to be involved in their unique and special day. I know they have both put a tremendous amount of effort in to forcing Andrea to organise this wedding ceremony, and can only hope that, apart from this speech, everything has exceeded their expectations.
I’ve also been asked to thank everyone on behalf of Paul and Sarah for the wedding presents you’ve so generously donated. For a wedding gift I wanted to give my brother something he genuinely needed, but it’s such a struggle figuring out how to wrap up a bath. You’ll notice seating plans have been decided based upon how much you all spent, so if you can hear me at the back, Greg, the happy couple thanks you for the oven glove.
There are obviously two very important people here today, without whom very little of this would have been possible. And the great thing is that as the evening progresses, most of us will get to spend more and more time talking with them. So please join me in a very special toast – to the bar staff.
Ladies and gentlemen, it now it gives me immense pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Paul and Sarah- Mr and Mrs Smith Junior. We wish them well for the future and hope they enjoy a long, happy marriage. May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old fashioned enough to last forever. The Bride & Groom!!!!
It is said that being asked to be the best man is like being asked to make love to the Queen Mother. It’s a great honour but nobody wants to do it.
Particularly now she has sadly passed away…..
Before I start, let me just say that the formative years I spent in the company of the groom means that he had as much of a part in developing my sense of humour as anyone. So, although I have tried to make this speech as funny as possible, please blame Paul, by email, if it's not.
When I told Jenny I was best man, her reaction was “You cant you’ll ruin his day”- Bit harsh with the name calling, but generally quite astute…..
Ladies and gentlemen, I am the best man so in time-honoured tradition, I will now do my best to give Paul the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life. For the record, the most uncomfortable five minutes of Sarah's life will be coming later on this evening, courtesy of Paul.
4 years ago Sarah met the man of her dreams, and shortly afterwards Paul: It was no surprise, when a few months ago during a romantic dinner just down the road at the Italian restaurant, Paul bent down to pick up a nice piece of garlic bread he surprisingly dropped…Sarah jumped to conclusions and…well here we all are today!
I'd like to really start by saying what a genuine honour it is to be Paul's best man today. I appreciate that I am just one of many equally suitable close employees & workmates that he could well have chosen, but I know he looks upon me as the older brother he never had. When it came to writing this speech I wasn’t short of material. Although most of it I’ve had to edit, throw away, burn or hand over to the police to help them with their enquiries. This is what’s left over….
So here I am stood up here with this great opportunity to reveal to all, Paul’s past misdemeanours. FORNICATION….Sorry FOR AN OCCASION such as this I could trot out the usual stories; like when he woke up in a Bangkok jail wearing Jimmy’s red thong and swimming goggles. Instead, I’ve decided to use this time to talk of Paul’s achievements, so you needn’t worry, we’re almost at the end of the speech. Without doubt his greatest achievement is marrying Sarah, who looks absolutely stunning today. Paul has scrubbed up quite nicely too – it’s amazing what a flannel and a bar of soap can do. I do however think it’s a bit thoughtless of him to have copied my outfit! You’ve done extremely well Paul, you’ve found someone who’s beautiful, charming, intelligent, down-to-earth… and puts up with your late nights in cyberspace. And Sarah, well- you’ve found Paul. Who said marriages had to start out balanced! Paul’s second greatest achievement also happened today, and that was keeping his appointment, on time, in the right country and resisting what must have been an intense desire to wed online.
But despite the fresh air, daylight and comfort he’s suffered, it’s been well worth the effort to surgically remove his laptop. As it was quite challenging coming up with a third achievement I thought of getting some visual help by asking our Dad, Tom, if he had any cute pictures of Paul when he young. I got a puzzled look and the confused reply; ‘Pictures yes, cute no!’ Dad did remind me that as a child, Paul is fondly remembered for always asking question after question. And this morning, a little of that child returned to him, as when I passed the bathroom door I overheard him saying, 'Why me, Lord? Why me? Whyyyy???' I do believe that marriage is a wonderful thing for Paul. It will teach him loyalty, self-restraint and control, and develop in him a sense of responsibility, fair play and so many other qualities he wouldn't need if he had just stayed single.
I knew Paul when he was little (obviously) and I lost count of the number of times a grown-up remarked, ‘He’ll go far, that Paul.’ Secretly jealous, I used to punch him repeatedly in the head. Adolescent rivalry aside, I can see that the adults were right and Paul has indeed done very well for himself. There’s the great career, his success at International level on the sports field, his world-beating collection of internet porn, and now of course, his perfect wife.
I must point out again the bridesmaids look wonderful and performed their role fantastically well, despite the inevitable and healthy rivalry that can sometimes occur. Just before the service I overheard a furious argument about who was going to be first to dance with the best man. “Understandable!”, I thought - until I got closer and heard them saying, 'You!', 'No…. YOU!'.
On behalf of those bridesmaids and myself, I would like to thank Sarah and Paul for giving us the opportunity to be involved in their unique and special day. I know they have both put a tremendous amount of effort in to forcing Andrea to organise this wedding ceremony, and can only hope that, apart from this speech, everything has exceeded their expectations.
I’ve also been asked to thank everyone on behalf of Paul and Sarah for the wedding presents you’ve so generously donated. For a wedding gift I wanted to give my brother something he genuinely needed, but it’s such a struggle figuring out how to wrap up a bath. You’ll notice seating plans have been decided based upon how much you all spent, so if you can hear me at the back, Greg, the happy couple thanks you for the oven glove.
There are obviously two very important people here today, without whom very little of this would have been possible. And the great thing is that as the evening progresses, most of us will get to spend more and more time talking with them. So please join me in a very special toast – to the bar staff.
Ladies and gentlemen, it now it gives me immense pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Paul and Sarah- Mr and Mrs Smith Junior. We wish them well for the future and hope they enjoy a long, happy marriage. May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old fashioned enough to last forever. The Bride & Groom!!!!
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This is one of the best best man speeches I've ever heard. I would love a speech like this at my very own wedding.
Here are some of my own tips
The speech of the best man is an important part of any wedding ceremony, and is remembered for years after the special day is over. The speech traditionally is meant to honor the groom but you should not forget the bride and congratulate them together. As a best man, you have been given the position of distinction of honor and responsibility. These speeches are also known as toasts and you should make efforts to prepare them in advance.
So, what you have to do first while preparing the speech?
To begin with you should jot down all your thoughts about the to-be wedded couple quite freely, relating your relationship with them, especially with the groom. Write these questions and try to answer them first:
How are they known to you?
Why were you chosen to be the Best Man?
In describing individual bride and groom, what are the first few adjectives that streams into your mind?
Groom’s state prior to the meeting of his bride and how much has he changed after meeting her?
How did they meet each other?
How were you told about the bride by the groom?
If you happen to be a married person, then how would you give some marriage tips and advice to the couple?
Can you relate to any special event or anecdotes to illustrate either the groom or the bride?
Go through sample wedding toasts and jot down few simple ones, just in case that is!
After writing and answering all, you have to utilize them into some entertaining yet heartfelt toasts.
The Beginning: First you have to begin by giving a brief introduction about yourself, since all present in the room would not know you. It is suggested to excuse you and ask for their attention. Then, introduce yourself and tell about your relationship with the groom. If you want the attention of the guests, it would great if you crack a joke or something or even quote something funny related to marriage. Prior to the speech’s end don’t forget to give thanks to the host, parents traditionally that of the bride’s and if the couple is paying themselves for everything in the wedding, then just say that “we are all delighted” or something “to be present in this beautiful occasion”.
The mid: In this stage all the above notes that you had written would be applicable. It would be good if you tell something funny, or a hilarious story related to the couple, or either of them. However, this should not be anything humiliating, and you should keep that in mind. Talk about your opinion of love, marriage, union etc tell story or even talk about the changes that has occurred via their relationship. Since, you are the Best Man; you ought be close and know the groom much better but always maintain a balanced toast and speak about both the bride and the groom.
Avoid long speeches, as others won’t be interested in your ramble. One major no-no in a speech is, talking about ex-girlfriends or relationships. You should simply avoid it along with adult content, since the guests would be inclusive of elderly people and children. Lastly, remember that sincerity always takes you a long way, so if you speak from the heart and be honest about everything, then nothing would be wrong!
Closing of the speech: It is advisable to end your toast or the Best Man speech with a traditional toast, wish or also a blessing for the couple. Raise the glass of champagne or wine with congratulations, salute or cheers resounding and then remember to take a sip of the toast.
For more tips and ideas please see my guide....
http://tinyurl.com/p43c2jv
Thanks
Stuart
The speech of the best man is an important part of any wedding ceremony, and is remembered for years after the special day is over. The speech traditionally is meant to honor the groom but you should not forget the bride and congratulate them together. As a best man, you have been given the position of distinction of honor and responsibility. These speeches are also known as toasts and you should make efforts to prepare them in advance.
So, what you have to do first while preparing the speech?
To begin with you should jot down all your thoughts about the to-be wedded couple quite freely, relating your relationship with them, especially with the groom. Write these questions and try to answer them first:
How are they known to you?
Why were you chosen to be the Best Man?
In describing individual bride and groom, what are the first few adjectives that streams into your mind?
Groom’s state prior to the meeting of his bride and how much has he changed after meeting her?
How did they meet each other?
How were you told about the bride by the groom?
If you happen to be a married person, then how would you give some marriage tips and advice to the couple?
Can you relate to any special event or anecdotes to illustrate either the groom or the bride?
Go through sample wedding toasts and jot down few simple ones, just in case that is!
After writing and answering all, you have to utilize them into some entertaining yet heartfelt toasts.
The Beginning: First you have to begin by giving a brief introduction about yourself, since all present in the room would not know you. It is suggested to excuse you and ask for their attention. Then, introduce yourself and tell about your relationship with the groom. If you want the attention of the guests, it would great if you crack a joke or something or even quote something funny related to marriage. Prior to the speech’s end don’t forget to give thanks to the host, parents traditionally that of the bride’s and if the couple is paying themselves for everything in the wedding, then just say that “we are all delighted” or something “to be present in this beautiful occasion”.
The mid: In this stage all the above notes that you had written would be applicable. It would be good if you tell something funny, or a hilarious story related to the couple, or either of them. However, this should not be anything humiliating, and you should keep that in mind. Talk about your opinion of love, marriage, union etc tell story or even talk about the changes that has occurred via their relationship. Since, you are the Best Man; you ought be close and know the groom much better but always maintain a balanced toast and speak about both the bride and the groom.
Avoid long speeches, as others won’t be interested in your ramble. One major no-no in a speech is, talking about ex-girlfriends or relationships. You should simply avoid it along with adult content, since the guests would be inclusive of elderly people and children. Lastly, remember that sincerity always takes you a long way, so if you speak from the heart and be honest about everything, then nothing would be wrong!
Closing of the speech: It is advisable to end your toast or the Best Man speech with a traditional toast, wish or also a blessing for the couple. Raise the glass of champagne or wine with congratulations, salute or cheers resounding and then remember to take a sip of the toast.
For more tips and ideas please see my guide....
http://tinyurl.com/p43c2jv
Thanks
Stuart
you seem to have chosen a lot of the cliche terms that are associated with best man speeches but if it goes down well then fair play to you for pulling it off.
Different people have different thoughts and strategies for their special day, but I strongly believe that you always need little preparation for your perfect Groom Wedding Speech. As per my experience, the secret for a successful speech, and indeed the special day as a whole, is in preparation and attention to detail. This most definitely doesn't mean sitting down to create your speech the night prior to the wedding day!
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